GOD!.....DAMN!........the last time I've ever blogged here was.....wait for it.... 10 DAMN MONTHS AGO!!!!
Can u bloody believe that! I'm just thinking wow! where the hell was I for the past 10 months (well it feels like 10 years!)
Well HIYA everyone!! =) even though I should have started my post saying hi I just can't believe how long I haven't been here.

Alot of things have been going on around for me for those past months. I've been having bad anxiety attacks or as mainly known panic attacks. I never knew I had that before especially early last year when I was still at school and before I took my final GCSE exams and then it hit me that that's why I took so many stays off at school. Cos at that time when I went to school I got all hot and bothered, I start panicking for nowt reason, I starting to feel sick. So those were the signs I had panic attacks, sometimes I still have panic attacks especially if it's some place I don't wanna go like public places, god! I hate public areas I always seem to worry when I'm in one. I've never ever told anyone about cos I knew they will never believe me but thankfully my mum did =) thanks! mom.

Anywayz if you had the same signs like me or you know you have panic attacks remember to close your eyes and breathe in deeply and think poisitive to the outcome.

Okay now thats out of the way, I've haven't done much really in those past 10 months. But my computer did brake down last year and I was crying as if it was my baby or something! it did brake down badly so I couldnt be online for about 3-4 months and damn that felt soooo long!! I use to start getting bored without my computer lol cos I'm really addicted to it and when you are like me, you are a internet junkie!. Trust me on that......but then came a miracle in middle of April 2003 this year.....my dad (finally) bought me a new computer. I was so damn happy, it looked like as if my lost bestest friend came back! lol sad I know! but oh well that's me :p
I've been asking my dad for a new computer for 3 years! cos my old comp kept braking down and everytime there was a different bloke fixing my computer thinking they know everything when one of them didn't know how to turn the bloody computer on?! and I was thinking there, I thought you was suppose to be a computer genius?
Ah well......

I'm now at college Yay? not really. It's alright but it's still like school and the worse think about it everytime you enter to college.....nearly everyone looks at ya cos of the way you look and I thought going to college would be a different perspective to outlook of my future. But it's still good know I mean the subject I'm taking is AS Law and it's really really good but the other subject I chose is the most crappest choice I've ever chosen Sociology. Yes it's quite tad ok and bit easy but it's just not totally me and I've now wasted a year of my life to it. :/
I've met real cool people as I've been to college.....and one of my closet nw friends there is Salma......she's a really cool person and we do have quite the same personality so that's good! and she always there for me. So thanks! Salma for that :) ........you wanna know the worst thing the college can do to ya? losing most of your old friends :/ I really really do miss my old friends but that's the way it is. what I mean is that I've parted away from my bestfriend Nayla because of college - we are at the same college but we both do different subjects and she's met new people but I guess that's how the world goes..sigh....

ANYWAYZ I gotta go I'll blog later when I feel much wakier and happier cos I'm blogging at 3.00am is in the morning UK time :p
See ya laters... =) and good night....(and your thinking 'erm...don't ya mean good morning?!)